Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
You don't necessarily have to worry if you're a conversation rehearser who sometimes loses themselves in what they're doing, you do have to worry if you're missing appointments because you were so immersed in fantasy conversation that for a moment you left our realm. If you're a conversation rehearser you're pretty much a conversation rehearser and you're stuck there's nothing you can do to escape you're just going to find yourself doing it. When you notice your real conversations feel the same to you as your fantasy conversations, now you're in uh oh territory. Generally this isn't going to lead to schizophrenia like people say it leads to schizophrenia, you're not going anywhere your genetic propensities will not allow you to and even if you have the genetic propensities this does not mean your brain has the schizophrenia click awaiting you that you never would have escaped anyway. But, yes, conversation rehearsing may be the one that clicks it for you. Suddenly you're no longer in control of the other side of the conversation.
If you've ever been concerned over your sanity, just remember pretty much every member of The Society of Social Disturbance is a conversation rehearser, and, well, look at us, obviously we are the pinnacle of sanity. It's a thing our society takes too seriously, it's a little loopy but no you are not destined to break. They're all just jealous we have so much more practice speaking impressively. We're always very disappointed we never get to use what we've rehearsed, when we're guiding both sides of the conversation we are very impressive, but, we do get a lot more practice, most of the people you know who speak very impressively are conversation rehearsers. The absolute recognizable height of good speakers, they're always conversation rehearsers. Pretty much eventually you get to the point you don't really need it anymore, especially if you've found the people in your life you actually get to have good conversations with, but, every now and then you'll still drift away into it. Long periods of boredom, it's more fun than your phone.
Yeah I guess you're a little crazy, whatever. Apparently some Americans will tell you holding an internal monologue makes you crazy. So. I don't know what to do with that. Just. Not all of the things you enjoy engaging with in your head declare you crazy, fucking get out of us with your ego monitoring people. You're supposed to hold an internal monologue, if you don't you're breaking your brain you're breaking your life you're breaking your entire hold on reality. I don't know how you trained-... Don't talk to yourself you're crazy don't talk to yourself you're crazy don't talk to yourself you're crazy no I just do it NATURALLY I j-j-just do it NATURA-NA... NATURALLY.